Category: parenting

Instruction Manual: Newborn Baby

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Congratulations! You are the recipient of a Newborn Baby™. As the caretaker, or “Parent,” you are responsible for raising your Newborn Baby™ to functional adulthood (functional: mentally balanced, high school graduate who does not reside in your basement). These instructions…

What I’ve Learned as an ADHD Mama

I have ADHD – the inattentive kind. That means I didn’t spend elementary school leaping desks and yelling out answers; instead, I sat dreamily in the corner, concocting elaborate stories with my unicorn erasers and making what everyone called “careless…

What Normal Looks Like

It's a daily battle.

“Oh, I can’t have you over,” other moms say. “My house is a mess.” As soon as I arrive for a playdate, before hello, they say:  “Don’t judge me, the house is a wreck. No, seriously, it’s destroyed. Please don’t…

A Mother’s White Privilege

What if my son was black? How would you see this picture?

As the ongoing events in Ferguson, Missouri show us, America’s racial tensions didn’t disappear when George Wallace backed down from the schoolhouse door. Dr. King didn’t wave a magic wand, and we never got together to feel all right. White…

Ten Truths about Tandem Nursing

It’s lazy. Yes, you can learn other ways to soothe your pissed-off, supplanted toddler. But boobs work so well. Plus nursing two kids at the same time means bonus Internet time, because you have to sit down. You lose even more…

Amish Ladies Out-Crunch You

Recently, we visited Nana’s Amish  next-door neighbors (and by “next-door,” I mean “the next farm down the road”). And somewhere in between the pickle-canning, the organic turkeys, and the barefoot herd of children, I realized something. I will never out-crunch…