My Husband’s Ten New Wraps to Look For in 2015


Thanks to Bear for his recommendations!

  1. Inspired Love’s “Lindisfarne Borealis”: cotton, sizes 4-6. This wrap comes with a super special limited edition complimentary bag you will add to the pile of reusable bags accumulating in your laundry room. It also tries and fails to evoke the northern lights using the colors of photos snatched off google images.

  2. Pleura’s “ETA Carinae, Heather”: linen, sizes 4-6. It’s red! It’s purple! It’s all the eye-searing colors you’ve dreamed of. The latest from this company to watch, which uses only linen sourced from the finest fields of sunshine and butterflies and slave labor.

  3. Cyclespyre by Jenna’s “Harbinger Dawn”: wool/alpaca, only in ring sling. Inspired by the colors of the zombie apocalypse, this wrap doubles as a thermal blanket, a signaling device, a firestarter, and a weapons holder thingie. Remember: it’s never too early to be too prepared.

  4. Argobaby “Technica, Limited Edition Red Rocks”: SSC made only of organic hemp grown in righteous defiance of federal law. Comes with aluminum buckles because hey, no one’s tried that one before, right?

  5. Pygidium Design’s “Eternia Wunderkammerin”: Handwoven by Anne, Princess of Denmark, this wrap comes only in a size 5 and will be auctioned on Hyena Cart. Watch out for fake bidders!

  6. Tablecloth, by Tablecloth. Size Tablecloth.

  7. Lecheheart’s “Rainbow Iris Spectrum Rainbow”, wool/rainbow blend, sizes 4-6. Extra rainbow scraps available upon supplication.

  8. Tendyrpyre Designs’ “Saluki LitreJohn Surprise”, linen/saluki, sizes 4-7. Inspired by the emperor Maximillian’s large collection of salukis, each wrap comes with a picture of the dog who humanly donated his fur for the wrap. No refunds will be given for allergy issues.

  9. Sichee’s “Love, Wool.” Size 6 only. Limited Edition, waitlist dependent on credit approval. Car titles no longer accepted as collateral. Slated to be worth $40 in 6 months, but oh, what a wrap!

  10. Heart BabyMuseeLove’s “Spectra Poetry Cerulean Dream”, cotton/quagga hair. Size 6, but the tapers meet in the middle, making this effectively a size 1. Inspired by the noble quagga, and the color cerulean.

Thank you to my long-suffering husband Bear. He actually did write the majority of this post.

If you feel these wraps are inspired by any actual wraps living or dead, please unwad your panties before commenting.